2 | Why Permission to Rise

I’ve only thought about why I do things my entire life! But, sometimes even when I feel like I have a grasp on why I do what I do, there’s this inner struggle to feel like my why is good not enough for everyone else. I’m still discovering my why and I’ve learned that, in business, your why needs to be extremely strong. So, today’s episode is me getting real with why I started this podcast. 

I also have a confession to get off my chest. Something that I’ve been holding back from most people for a really long time. It was also something that I didn’t want to admit out loud because I felt a lot of shame. I’ve started to let go of that shame, and I feel that sharing my story so openly will allow me to let go and ground myself fully.

Thanks for listening! 

Xoxo Chelsey 

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Transcript

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Hey, it's Chelsea. And welcome to Permission to Rise. A podcast for women ready to find their voice, embrace healing, and rise into their fullest potential. If you're ready to stop shrinking and start showing up for your life, this podcast is your permission to rise. Thanks for sticking around for episode two. I just want to start by saying how proud I am of myself. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for working through hard things or even the everyday challenges. Take a moment to do that today. Give yourself a little praise. My praise moment, I came up with an intro for my podcast. I can't tell you how difficult that was. I went over how I would begin a million times. Part of me thinks it's great. The other half of me feels like I really didn't tell you about myself in the right way. But that's okay. There's no such thing as perfection, and to be honest, there's plenty of time to share my journey. I have so much to say, and I want to dive right into it. But I also want this podcast to build upon itself. I want it to make sense. I'm from Minnesota. We can babble out our ass more than anyone on earth. The Minnesota goodbye, it's a real thing, and it can be a real problem. So bear with me on these first few episodes. Now, let's dig in. Let's talk about how I got to this point. Starting a podcast. In the first episode, I briefly told you about my selling experience. Yes, I was one of those children who painted rocks and sold them. I also had the advantage of grandparents with a business on Main Street in our local town. We sat outside with lots of foot traffic. Lemonade stands, we topped 10 bucks.$10, guys. At 25 cents a glass? That was huge. The profit margins, even better, because of course we didn't pay for the lemonade. Life was so much simpler as a child. I spent years watching my grandma sell Stanley Home products. I can remember as early as the age of five helping her label her catalogs, unbox her inventory, and bag up her orders. She would always call me in the summertime to help her at the county fairs. I looked forward to it each year. She also used to do these bingo parties where she would gather all her ladies from her district and downline. It was a hoot. Over the years, I participated in multiple MLM businesses. For those who are unfamiliar with that terminology, it's a multi-level marketing business. The catalog companies and parties that you get invited to that make you want to block every single one of your friends on social media. Yeah, I was one of those girls. Don't get me wrong, I loved every business that I worked with because I did get something from all the products. I did see the value in everything that I sold. I still use 90% of those products today in some way, shape, or form. I will go down swinging for some of the things that I sold that amplified my life. My grandma did the same. It wasn't just about selling you a product, it was about finding a way to give you value in your life. I tried not to annoy my friends, but over time, I never felt truly connected and satisfied marketing a business that way. No matter how much I believed in the product, loved it, or used it, I wanted something more. I wanted something that was mine. The last MLM business that I participated in, which is how most of my current social media followers found me, was Lou LaRoe. I won't go down that rabbit hole, but I want to talk about why I started it. Now, this MLM business was far different from any of the other businesses I've done. Quite simply because the investment costs were much greater. I want to say that it took about five to six thousand dollars to get that business off the ground. It was one of the biggest business risks that I have ever taken up until that time. The crazy thing is that when I dropped the first four grand on inventory, I didn't bet an eye. My stomach didn't drop, I didn't ask myself, what have I just done? I went, okay, cool. What next? One of the most important aspects in any business, let alone these multi-level marketing businesses, is the foundation of your why, the purpose of your business, the purpose of your cause, what is driving you to be here and do what you're doing. Why should someone spend their hard-earned money with you? Why should someone follow you? Why should someone listen to you? I think you get the gist. It's still one of the most vitally important aspects of any business. And it's the one thing that I struggled with the most when I started selling clothing. Don't get me wrong. I had a why, but it wasn't what most people thought. And I feel like I'm still selling that story because part of it is truthful, but the other half of it is something that I didn't want to face publicly, let alone face personally. So here's a little truth bomb. I'm a recovering shopaholic. Pause for dramatic effect. Okay, well, actually, let's pause, rest in peace, because this girl doesn't shop the same way she used to. I love shopping. I do. I love buying something new to wear, or finding the perfect organizing container to reassemble and organize my life. You need a personal shopper, I'm here for it. I'll find you the best deal. Whether it's groceries, clothing, or household items, I'm here for it. Hell, take me to Bernard's and I'll help you pick out anything you want in that store. Home decor, craft stores, and home improvement stores are the worst places to take me because I will find something. Also, pet stores, but that's a whole other story. By the time I started my Lularo business, I was drowning in debt. It was multiple factors at that point. College, a car accident, life, but the shopping was a huge factor. In fact, I went into more debt to start the Lularo business. I started it because I was dating someone at the time who I felt was going to be somebody I was going to build a life with. I realized real quick that I needed to get my shit under control. And I did. I hustled and I worked hard, 8 a.m. to 2 a.m. every weekday, selling$5,000 to$6,000 a month while also working full-time and juggling a relationship. I paid down most of my debt while also investing in my boyfriend's business at the time. But I felt like I was living a bit of a lie. While I enjoyed selling and I believed in the products, there wasn't any greater purpose other than trying to feel like I had things under control. That was the same energy that propelled me to shop in the first place. If I can just get to the finish line, if I can just pay down my debt, if I can just buy this new item and organize my life a little better or elevate my life a bit more by having this nicer thing, then I'll be better and feel better. Not gonna lie, being debt-free or the thought of it feels better. It's a dopamine hit. But then what? I wasn't building anything, I was simply trying to find a means to an end. And eventually, for various reasons, I decided to quit the MLM because it wasn't serving my purpose, which at the time was to pay down my debt. Sales started to tank and I couldn't sustain my business, mostly because of things outside of my control. So I decided to flip that script. Let's start my own business. That was a dream of mine. Start my own business and sell products. Have a place for women to go and be. I desired to have a space to call my own like my grandparents and watch women feel really good about finding something that brought them joy. I wanted to bring that feel-good moment that I found in other stores into my own space. For the last six years, I've been selling clothing and jewelry and accessories and drink mixes and fun snarky cups and mugs and anything else I wanted in my boutique. But a lot of things have changed for me personally, and I think that's what has made it harder for me to operate my business as authentically as I'd like. It's not that I don't shop at all anymore. I still buy things and consume products, and I splurge every once in a while. But even the way that I splurge is so different. I operate on a personal level so different now that I find it difficult to show up for my business in a way that feels honest, authentic, and intentional. I found myself shutting down and disengaging these last couple of years. I have moments where I feel the hope and joy and euphoria that I felt years ago when I first started, but those moments are very short-lived. I want to be excited by what I'm doing. I want to feel that it has a greater purpose. I can still do that and sell things, but I want to do more than that. If you're not familiar, my boutique is called the Rise Boutique. It used to be the loot loft from 2020 to 2023 before I rebranded. When I talk about my boutique, I feel like each person has their own perception of what a boutique is. If you go to my website, I don't know if it's meeting your expectations. A part of me feels like I haven't operated like a true boutique because I don't do this full time. I don't have fresh new arrivals every week anymore, and even when I did, I wasn't marketing them the way that I should have. I feel like I'm showing up less and less because it doesn't feel right anymore. I've thought about quitting a million times, but once again I find myself wrapped up in a financial situation with my business, and that has been really hard for me to talk about. I go down rabbit holes some days where there's this level of shame that says, you screwed up. You did this. And then I have to walk out of that room because that won't serve me. It's easy to fall down the path of thinking that what I have accomplished so far isn't much or hasn't been successful or important. But I know that I've changed women's lives in so many different ways, just by the way they've connected with myself, themselves, and others in my small community. I had a lady tell me almost a year ago now that she absolutely loves a sweater she bought for me and wears it every week. She described it, but for the life of me, I can't tell you exactly which one it is, because I've probably had dozens of sweaters come through the door. But it makes my heart glow to know that no matter how all this ends or how it adapts or changes, I made a difference in someone's life. Also, side note, I saw no less than three people on my Facebook newsfeed this Valentine's Day wearing something from my boutique. It made me smile. I enjoy selling things. Not for the consumerism aspect or the money, but because I know what it's like to find something that you feel comfortable wearing, that makes you feel beautiful and confident. I know the joy of buying something, even if it's really small, that serves a greater purpose in my life. I have my own pieces from my own boutique when I first started that I still wear and love. I've been on a healing journey the last six years. I've rebuilt myself over and over again, and I can't wait to deep dive more of that identity aspect with you. My why hasn't always been strong. I haven't always known how to articulate why I am doing something, but I've also spent a lot of my life explaining myself to people who were never really listening or only wanted to listen to invalidate my person. I'm here to come clean, if you will, or at least be more honest about my intention and my person. I think the one thing that's been shutting me down these last couple of years is this feeling of not moving with the kind of authenticity I desire. I don't believe I'm lying to anyone other than myself some days. I believe I'm trying to hold on to control. That if I hold back what's really happening or how I'm really feeling, it means that no one can fuck shit up for me. No one can take my words and twist them or shame me for my mistakes or shortcomings, but the reality is that only I have the permission to do that. People can say whatever they want, and at the end of the day, I reserve the right to decide exactly how my life will play out. So, as it pertains to my podcast, here's my why. This podcast allows me to create a platform for myself to speak authentically. It means I get to share my story in a way that's open, honest, and personal. I get to do it for me, to continue to let go of the things that I've held on to. By things, I mean shame, regret, hurt, anger, all the negative emotions and lower vibrations that no longer serve purpose in my life. I get to be a voice for myself publicly. I also get to be a voice for you. A woman who may also be holding on to things that no longer serve her. And maybe my voice is what allows for you to also let go. To be honest and face your feelings, to wake up and look in the mirror and decide that you're allowed to be everything that you are. I often come across the phrase, what you focus on, you create. I believe this to be absolutely true. I have spent so much time in the last six years focusing on creating really good things. But I've also spent a lot of time deep diving my past, my regrets, my mistakes, my failures, analyzing all of it in the deepest way. I want to focus on the good and I want to move into a truly positive era of my life. But I find myself rehashing things that I've worked through that I'm ready to release and let go of. I've asked myself, why do I regurgitate this so many times? My friends have heard it, the walls of my apartment have heard it, my car has definitely heard it. This inability to let go isn't because I don't want to or that I can't. I thoroughly believe that I'm being called to express this out loud in the most authentic way that I can. Because all these aha moments and revelations about the pain and abuse I've endured is valuable to someone who needs to hear it. That creating a platform in which to talk about it, generating a safe space for myself and other women, will be the thing that finally allows me to fully let go and heal. There are so many women that I have met over the years through my business. Some that have brought me into the circle of their well-being and allowed me to give them advice. I've given them a space to speak their truth in a way that I think has shocked and scared them because some backed off and some leaned in. I truly believe that these aha moments are for more than just myself. They are also for the woman who is struggling to step up into the life that she knows she deserves and desires. For the woman who has never allowed herself to simply just be, I'm with you. I hear you. I've been there, and some days I'm still there. For the woman who thinks she's not allowed, let's change that this year. Let's give ourselves permission to rise. It's really that simple. Thank you for tuning in today. This episode may have run a bit longer than I intended. I don't want to overwhelm you. You have a purpose and you have a why. I'm in the process of discovering my own, and I hope you'll stick around and discover yours. Or at the very least, give yourself permission to do so.